The Man Is Racked With Guilt And Confesses To His Neighbor



    A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:

    “I apologize, Bob. I have to admit that guilt has been eating at me:

    “I probably help myself to your wife more than you do when you’re not around. It’s been so amazing and enjoyable that I can’t stop myself. There are instances when it lasts for many hours.


    “I realize it’s not a justification, but I don’t have it at home.” I’ve had enough of the guilt for now. I sincerely hope you will accept my apologies. It won’t occur once more.

    Feeling outraged and betrayed, Bob goes into the bedroom and curses his wife


    Moments later the guy gets a second text:

    “Bloomin’ auto-correct I meant to say ‘wifi’”

    “Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny,

    “Can you give me twenty dollars?”

    “Certainly not!” answered his mother. “If you do,” Little Johnny went on, “I’ll tell you what Dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.” His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?” “He said, ‘Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.’”