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AITA For Not Telling My Boyfriend I Own The Building We Live In


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“When I was 18, my father gave me a house with two stories. I am incredibly grateful; we are not upper class, but my father purchased this property for a low price a long time ago (it was his grandmother’s cousin’s house).

I know that this was an extreme privilege and I am forever grateful for this.

This building’s layout resembles an apartment, although it is a house. So each story has its entryway, kitchen, and bathroom. I live upstairs and rent out the downstairs. My partner, 25m, moved in with me approximately three months ago, and we’ve been together for six months. I have not asked him for money, utilities, or rent.

The only thing he contributes is groceries, which we share 50/50. I have not said that I own the building because it is not something I tell many people. If they inquire, I will tell them that I own it, but if they simply assume I am a renter, they can believe that. We have not discussed the landlord, the downstairs renter, or the building’s owner.

This last Tuesday the renter came up to tell me that her freezer has stopped working. 

I answered the door, and I think my boyfriend overheard us conversing. I went downstairs to look, and we agreed that she’d buy a new one, send me the receipt, and I’d give her the money. She was quite grateful for this solution.


When I walked upstairs, my boyfriend inquired whether it could be mended; I told him no, but she planned to get a new one, which I would pay for. He looked at me as if I was crazy and asked why the hell I would pay for her freezer. I told him that because I was her landlord and the freezer was there when she started renting, I would cover the expense. He just asked whether I was serious, and I responded yes.

He started yelling at me, asking why the heck I would keep this knowledge from him and claiming that I was an awful person. I apologized for not notifying him, but I didn’t believe it would matter.


He stated he couldn’t believe he was with a landlord, that we all simply use people for money, and that the only thing “we people” care about is money, preferring to have people be homeless rather than providing inexpensive rent. (The downstairs has one kitchen, one bathroom, and four additional rooms; I ask $500 in rent).

I recognize that many people have had issues with landlords, but I do my best to be a nice one. He asked that I give him 50% of my rental income or else I was just as evil as he thought. Was I an asshole for not telling him? He hasn’t spoken to me since Tuesday, and I’ve tried to tell him how terrible I am, but he doesn’t respond.”